Something Worth Keeping: The Day She Left (3/6)
See Part One for Disclaimers and Such
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*
And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose
*
"So, uh, I guess I'll leave you two alone," Toby says. "Lis, have you talked to your mother yet?"
"Yeah. I called her this morning."
"Okay. I'll be in my office later," he mentions before he leaves.
Sam and Lisa stand there staring at each other awkwardly until Sam spies Kate puttering around her desk.
"Hey, Kate!" he calls to her.
"Yes?" She replies and jumps a little.
"C'mere a sec."
She walks in slowly, holding a blue file in front of her chest like a shield.
"Lisa, I want you to meet my assistant, Kate Montgomery."
Sam watches as the two women meet face-to-face, gasp as they realize their physical similarities, and exchange polite hellos.
"I've heard...so much...about you," Kate offers in a daze, one eye on Lisa and the other on Sam.
"I wish I could say the same about you," Lisa replies, an icy edge to her voice.
"Oh, hey, um," Sam stutters, trying to break the tension. "Kate hasn't been here that long...I'm kind of like a big brother to her," he prides himself.
"Actually," Kate corrects, "Josh is more like a big brother to me," Then she turns to Lisa and spouts smugly, "Sam's more like the pain in the ass I'm sleeping with, but, you know, whatever."
Her audience stares at her, and she immediately regrets ever opening her mouth at all. She holds up a hand and raises her eyebrows, squeaking, "Kidding! Just...kidding..." She gives Sam a look that Lisa can't decipher, then chuckles nervously. "Uh...I'm going to leave now."
Lisa bites her lip and sighs as she watches Sam's red-faced assistant sheepishly retreat back to her desk, closing the door behind her.
"Are you really sleeping with her?" she boldly asks him.
"Uh...yeah. But we really shouldn't be talking about that."
She takes the obvious hint and changes the subject. "So...it's been a while, Sam."
"Good observation, Lisa. Oh, and thanks for the warning four years ago."
"Sam, I can explain what happened and why I left," she starts, but he cuts her off.
"Do you really think I want to hear it? I don't. No, I don't want to know. I was finally starting to come to grips with what happened, and then you show up out of nowhere and want to make small talk. Lisa, I don't know how someone who was, supposedly, in love with me, could just get up and leave without letting me know-without talking to me first!"
His statement sends her reeling backwards. She tried to tell him. She really tried.
~~~~~
Lisa takes a cab over to the debate site and starts to search for Sam. After about ten minutes she finally spies her fiance and the rest of the Governor's crew, including her father, in the center of the auditorium where the debate would take place. "Sam!" she calls out, but he doesn't hear her. She advances and keeps calling his name. Suddenly, C.J., Josh, her father, and Sam rush towards the exit on the other side of the auditorium. She runs to catch up. "Sam! Sam, wait!" She doesn't know what's happening. "Sam!"
He finally spins around and looks at her, agitated. "What is it?"
"I need to talk to you."
"Later."
"But, Sam-"
"Not now," is all he says before running down the hall after C.J. She doesn't know that something has happened to the Governor.
She stands there looking after him with her arms hanging at her sides and her mouth open slightly. She can't believe he's blown her off like that. She shakes her head in astonishment and runs her hand through her hair to keep from crying. She starts to advance after him, but changes her mind, and, without looking back, goes back to her hotel room.
~~~~~
"But, Sam, it wasn't you," she defends him. "It was me."
"Gee, I've never heard that excuse before," he spits, rolling his eyes.
"I wasn't ready."
"Wasn't ready for what?"
"I wasn't ready...for you to be living your life...here; leaving home before dawn and coming home late at night, that's not the kind of life I wanted to live."
"And when did you come to this realization?"
"About ten minutes before I left."
~~~~~
As soon as she gets back to their hotel room, she starts throwing her things haphazardly into her suitcase while hot, angry tears run down her cheeks. "It'll never work," she fumes silently. She would never be able to have a family when her husband was, if all went well, working for the President of the United States of America.
It was all happening at the wrong time.
She was tired of being last in line. Behind his work, his friends, his life, she was always last in line. She was tired of being at the bottom of her father's list. It made her hate him at times.
She shakes her head to clear her mind.
This isn't about her father, it's about Sam.
She was always the last person in Sam's line. Behind Governor Bartlet, behind her father, behind Josh-there was Lisa. And she was sick of it. She didn't want to be last in line anymore.
~~~~~
"Great. Just great. Is that what you were really afraid of, Lisa?" he asks softly, raising his eyes to hers.
"I didn't want to be last in line all the time, Sam!" she blurts, instantly hating her choice of words. "Damn," she muttered under her breath.
~~~~~
She snaps her suitcase shut and writes him a note, leaving it on the bedside table on top of the one he left her earlier. It tells him that she's leaving him, but neglects to tell him of her condition. On her way out the door, she suddenly remembers something. She drops her bags in the doorway and stomps back to where she had put the note. She stares at her hand bitterly for a moment, then rips off her engagement ring off her finger and throws it down on the table. She goes back, picks up her bags, and leaves.
That was the last Sam ever saw of Lisa Fredrick. Until today.
~~~~~
Sam doesn't say anything, and instead sits back in his chair, propping a knee up on his desk. "Well...I'm sorry."
"For what? Don't be. It's my own fault," she replies shortly.
He nods, slowly, blankly, and stares at his telephone.
"There's one other reason I left," Lisa says haltingly, interrupting his thoughts.
"What's that?"
"That day I left..." she takes a big breath and lets it out, "I had just found out I was pregnant.
***
I cannot stand this. I'm at my desk, not more than seven feet from Sam's office, and I can't hear them talking. It's driving me mad. I can see them sitting there, but if I keep watching them, Sam will get angry. And he's already less than pleased with me.
So I sit here, legs crossed and one arm propping up my head, elbow staked into my desk. I absentmindedly sharpen pencils until I have a militia of little daggers. If need be, I can use them to kill Sam. Or Lisa. Well, I have enough...
I stop sharpening and drop my head to my desk with a bang. It's agonizing!
Just as I stand up to try to cool down by getting some coffee, the door opens and Lisa leaves the office, followed by a shockingly pale Sam.
"So, I'll, uh, see you on Thursday?" Lisa asks him.
"Yeah...Thursday," he replies and I hope he doesn't throw up.
Then, with a small smirk at me, Lisa Fredrick is gone once again.
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