Something Worth Keeping: Demons (2/6)
See Part One for Disclaimers and Such
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*
I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense
*
"So, uh...how are you?"
"Good, Daddy. And you?"
"Fine, fine," he takes off his coat and hangs it up. Then he lowers himself onto the couch and leans his elbows on his knees.
"What are you doing here, Lisa?" He asks as he rubs his eyes.
"I'm moving back to Washington."
"To do what?"
"I'm going to be reporting from the Pentagon for NBC."
"Congratulations," he says as if he's not sure he's really happy for her.
"Thanks." The smile has faded from her face and she looks at her father worriedly. "Ethan is coming with me. Obviously."
"How is he?"
"Great," she flashes a smile.
"You have a place yet?"
"Yeah."
She pauses and looks around the room. "I think it's time for Ethan to know...you know, about..."
"You think he's ready, Lis?"
"Yeah. You never told him anything...did you?"
"No, just as you asked. But...are you ready to face him again?"
She looks at her father and tells him, hesitantly, "I...I hope so."
***
"What?" I practically yell at Josh. "You mean Toby is Lisa's father?"
"Yeah."
"Holy shit!"
"I know."
I run a hand through my hair, trying to get everything straight, when a thought hits me. "Josh. Why are you telling me this now?"
He bites his lip, then squints his eyes shut as he tells me, "She's here."
"Where?"
He pops one eye open. "Here."
"In the White House?"
Now he's looking at me with both eyes open. "Yeah. I saw her looking for Toby. She's probably still here."
"I have to see her, Josh."
"Are you sure you want to?"
"Yeah."
"Let's go."
***
"Let's go."
"Wait, Dad...do you think it's going to be okay?"
Toby thinks for a minute, and places a hand on the doorknob as he looks at his daughter. "He'll be fine."
Lisa nervously stands outside Sam's office door while Toby goes in and talks to Sam.
"Hey."
"Did you talk to him already?" Sam asks, picking his head up from a newspaper article.
"Huh?"
"Klien. About the thing?"
"Oh, that, no...not yet."
"Oh. Okay."
"Sam," Toby says slowly to make sure he has Sam's attention, "There's someone here...she wants to see you."
"Who?"
Toby looks at him and presses his lips together. Then he turns to speak to someone outside. "You can come in."
Lisa hesitantly steps into the office. She gives him a small smile and holds her arms out to the sides before greeting him, "I'm back."
But the second she sees him, the memory of the day she left him comes rushing back to her. And no matter how confident she tries to seem, she can't hide from the truth.
~~~~~
It was the morning of Bartlet's final debate, in St. Louis, before the election. Lisa wakes up late in their hotel room to find Sam long gone, a note left on his pillow. "Lis, went to help your dad prep for tonight. See you later. Love, Sam." She tosses the note on the bedside table and climbs out of bed, shuffling into the bathroom and closing the door behind her. She comes out a minute later, muttering, "Damn, still late. Damn."
She sits on the bed for a moment, then gets up and looks out the window at the Gateway Arch looming in the distance. She turns around and stares at her purse, shoving one hand into her robe pocket and running the other through her hair. "I've got to do it," she thinks. "I've got to find out."
She walks over to her purse and reaches into the very bottom, rummaging around for what she had hidden there. She pulled it out and eyed it cautiously. "Well...here goes."
A half hour later, she's sitting cross-legged on the bed, staring at the results and not believing it. Not wanting to believe it is more like it. She dawdles for a few hours, taking a shower, ordering room service that she barely touches, and watching a movie on HBO.
But she knows she has to tell Sam.
~~~~~
***
As I follow Josh out of his office, Donna stops us. "Where are you going?" she asks.
"To see Sam's ex-fiance," I reply shortly.
"Oooh, wait for me," she exclaims, and follows us.
We walk over and stand outside of the Communications Bullpen. Peering through the window, we can see Sam, Toby, and a woman all standing in Sam's office.
"Is that her?" I ask.
Josh nods.
I clench my teeth. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," I start to turn away, but Donna grabs my arm and steers me back to the window.
"Kate, come back here. I know this has got to be hard for you, since Lisa looks so much like you, but you have to get through this. You like Sam. Make yourself like Sam's ex-fiancee," she beams.
"I was going to say that Oprah over here is right," Josh remarks, "But she's starting to sound like Jerry Springer. Anyway, Kate, just look at her, get it over with, bang, you're done."
"Yeah...okay," I admit and take a deep breath.
Lisa turns to look at Toby, and I can see her in profile. "Oh, my god," I whisper, and instinctively raise a hand to the window. "We are twins."
"Yeah," Donna agrees softly.
Just then, C.J. walks up behind us. "What are you looking at?"
"Lisa," we chorus, not taking our eyes off her.
"She's here?" C.J. asks, her eyes widening.
We all nod.
"Damn. The demons are back."
She stands there, mesmerized like the rest of us, until Sam happens to look up in our direction.
"Get down!" Josh hisses, and we all hit the floor.
"Man, he had to have seen us," I groan.
"Ya think?" That was Josh, of course.
"I hope he doesn't come out here," Donna says. "I don't want to have to explain why we're gaping at-" she stops when a pair of shoes stops in front of her face. She looks up to see who they belong to. "Oh...hi, Leo."
"Do I even want to know what the four of you are doing down there?"
"Uh...well, we got really tired, you see," C.J. starts.
Then Josh cuts in, "And we didn't want to walk while we were tired, and, uh, risk hurting ourselves or others-"
"And so we just stopped down here to take a little nap. Y'know, sleep it off..." I finish, and we all look up at him with cheesy grins.
"Right," Leo nods at us like we're three-year-olds. Then he walks away, muttering something under his breath.
"Hey, I think we had better split up before we get in real trouble," Donna says.
"Yeah," I agree, and stand up, brushing off my pant legs. My friends, all chuckling, get to their feet, and Donna and C.J. go off in opposite directions.
Josh stands there with his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight from one leg to the other like he always does. "You going to be alright?"
"Yeah," I sigh, but I know I don't look so sure.
"C'mere," he says, and takes me into his arms. "It's going to be okay, Kate. I promise. It's not like they're going to get engaged again or something. He's not that hung up on her."
"Thanks Josh," I tell him, but I want to add, "But you weren't there at the monument. You weren't the one in bed with him this morning, Josh. You don't know. You can't promise."
He smiles at me reassuringly, and all I'm capable of doing is giving a half-hearted wave as he exits down the hall.
So I go inside the bullpen and try to look busy.
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